If you don't remember how this thing works or just want to take a look at the full contest rules, then check out this older post below.
http://tharadlife.blogspot.com/2011/01/52-weeks-without-contest-january.html
Ok so now that is out of the way. Here is this month's contest.
All we ask of you this month is to tell us a story, but not just any story. We want you to tell us the most embarrassing story you can think of about yourself. Whether it's the time you got drunk and peed in an air conditioner, or slipped and fell in front of a large group of people, idk, it could be anything but it has to be about you. So this month we ask you readers, WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU????
This month's winner will receive a print of a painting by me (Dylan Hillman) and whatever Jake decides to throw in as well.
 |
| possibly this one?? |
* Don't forget that you must put your full name along with your answer and also post our blog to your facebook for your answer to count.
*and previous month's winners are not eligible to win any other month's contest.
*Winner for the contest will be picked and announced at the beginning of next month.
What are you waiting for? Start talking!!!!
When I was in fifth grade, my teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom, so I ended up pooping in my pants. It smelled terrible and it smeared everywhere. I threw away my pants when I got home. -Jared Honea
ReplyDeleteKnow how yall can never think of any embarressing stories of me- mom told me one the other day: she said I was sitting in her lap when PawPaw, dressed as Santa came in and I was so scared I peed all over her. And then she nearly threw me bc i got her xmas clothes all wet. But she didnt. Thanks mom. -oh, you know.. but to make sure it counts... Danielle Hillman
ReplyDeleteSo this one time I thought it would be funny to let this guy slap me in the face with his dick. True story. It wasnt funny and is very embarressing, he had the clap and jungle rot. Not funny. Steve hensley.
ReplyDeleteAlright, poop story time.
ReplyDeleteIt was freshmen year and I stayed with a friend after school so that he could practice soccer or something. Well, all of a sudde I was struck with poop fever. I needed a bathroom and I needed it quick. So, I waddled back to up the school from the field. But when I got there the doors were all locked. I was frightened. This poop wanted out.
So, I went back to the field and discovered they had just recently built bathrooms there but they seemed still kind of under construction. Oh well. So I went to the men's one but it was locked.
Soi bit the bullet and went into the girls one and was pleased to find it unlocked. I quickly closed the door, locked it, and felt the wall for a light switch....but their wasn't one. This is where things go down hill. At this point it's too late. My body knows we're in a bathroom and is ready to do this.
I first make sure to check this bathroom for water by swutching on the sink. Yep, water. Good deal. I then sit down, do my horribly disgusting buisness for about 25 minutes. Finally, that's done. I then hit the wall to my left to find the toilet paper in the dark. But oh wait....no toilet paper either. There isn't even a toilet paper holder up yet. At this point I'm quite nervous. I remember I brought my bookbag in with me and look for something, anything. Only I don't have a single sheet of notebook paper or looseleaf. I have one piece of paper and it's the report card that we just got that day....I have no choice. I must use it. I proceed to fold it so that I can somehow utilize 4 paper squares to clean up this explosion I've created under me.
I try to clean up the best I can but needless to say it wasn't a complete job. But regardless, the bulk was taken care of. The end of this horrible mess. I flush.
...
....
.....
Nothing happens. It seems like the consturctors of this torture chamber thought it more important to hook up the sink first rather than the toilet.
So let me give you a summary. Me, standing in a dark bathroom still under construction,with no toilet paper, still kind of covered in my own feces, with a toilet filled up with horrid poop that won't flush and PROOF that I did it because my name is on the report card.
Yea. So I had nothing to do but just walk out.
Andrew Toups.
Sorry for the huge tale but it needed to be told. and I want that elephant.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Andrew Toups.
Toups, you win, I am not even gonna write anything!
ReplyDeletethat is awesome.
ReplyDeleteToups, you're a God among men.
ReplyDeletePreface: I'm phobic of roaches. I'm so phobic of roaches I won't eat whole black olives because they LOOK like roaches.
ReplyDeleteStory: When I was 16, I lived in Buras a lil' town south of New Orleans. I was getting up to get ready for school and hopped into a bubble bath. While I scrubbing up, I heard a little "splish splash" and I looked down to see a GIANT roach swimming toward me in the tub. I was horrified. HORRIFIED. I jumped up out of the tub covered in suds and butt naked and ran screaming out of the bathroom. Our house had tile floors and my wet soapy feet slid on the tiles. I slid down the hall screaming and screaming and crying about the roach until I was at the entry way of the living room where my dad, Papa, was drinking coffee and reading. He just looked at me. His naked 16 year old daughter crying on the floor. He was speechless and I'm sure, horrified as well. I didn't care. I was too scared of the bug to get up. My mom showed up with a towel and wrapped me up in it and looked at Papa and calmly said, "Larry, there's a roach. Go get it." So I went to my room wrapped in a towel and crying. I did not have to go to school that day. I'm still traumatized. Papa probably is too.
Squid Loyal
When I was 8-yrs-old, living in Germany, I took a school bus from our small town to the military base every morning. The bus carried students from 1st through 12th grade. I was sitting in an aisle seat, felt sick and barfed on in the center aisle. The rubber matting on the aisle floor had grooves in it and as the bus went up and down hills on the 20-mile trip, the spew would travel in streams all the way to the front of the bus going downhill... then all the way to the back, uphill... and the older kids were all yelling and cursing at me, "WHY DIDN'T YOU STICK YOUR HEAD OUT THE WINDOW?!?" I was the most hated kid at school that day...
ReplyDelete~Django S. Zeia
Then there was the time I went to Virginia to meet my fiance's family. It was snowing and I thought I looked super cute in my blue coat and blue boots. Only, I didn't get the snow off my boots before walking into their bi-level home where the front door has stairs that lead downstairs to the dining room or upstairs to the living room. So, I slipped on the stairs and fell down every. single. step. and landed on their dining room floor while everyone tried really really hard not to laugh. Then I dropped the pie then I broke their decorative kerosene lamp and had to spend the evening cleaning kerosene and glass off of the wood floors.
ReplyDeleteAnd the time I went to Grand Cayman and used some new spray-on sunblock only I didn't rub it in. So the sunblock only worked where it was directly sprayed on. Like when you're spray painting something. After I sat on the beach all day I was sunburned with the exception of these perfect white circles where I had sprayed on the sunblock. Spent the rest of my vacation all polka dotted.
I'll stop now. Just about every day of my life has a "most embarrassing moment." :)
Hugs,
Squid Loyal
OMIGAWD how could I forget the most awesome Valentine's Day ever?? I should have submitted this on Monday for y'all. Feel the love in this story. There was a gentleman digging on me and we agreed to attend a Mardi Gras parade on Valentine's Day together. I thought he was nice enough, but wasn't sure how I felt about him. So, 3 couples - all gay dudes that I'm friends with - were meeting up at a mutual friends' house for gumbo and drinks then walking to the parade. So, I invited my date to go along with me and I was like well, I dunno about this guy but at least I'll be with my friends. So we get there and it's me, the 3 couples, and my date. I'm eating gumbo and I end up drinking the entire bottle of wine that I brought. Then on the way to the parade I was drinking whatever the guys had in their cups. Before the parade even started I was too wasted to stand up and eventually puked down the leg of my jeans. I had no idea where my friends had gone and no idea where the house was we came from. So we eventually found the house and let ourselves in because they were smart enough to leave a door unlocked. I don't remember much of anything, but I woke up at some point on the couch with no pants on and wrapped up in a Power Puff Girls blanket. One of my friends had left the parade when he realized we were gone and did not want me alone in the house passed out drunk with the new guy. He evidently came in while I was passed out to find me wearing the Power Puff Girls blanket passed out on the couch and gave my date some hell about it. I just kept puking into a bucket and passing out again. Turns out, I couldn't stand to have dirty jeans on and I took them off and made my date figure out where the washer was and wash and dry them for me and I put myself in the blanket and laid down for a "nap." When I was returning to consciousness I convinced my friends to open a window and put a painting I liked into the back of their SUV. Being all mutual friends this seemed HILARIOUS to me at the time. Once I sobered up, a friend drove me and my date back to my house so my date could get in his car and go home. Poor thing was probably worn out from cleaning up my vomit, washing my jeans, and in general being my sick drunk errand boy. But I just wasn't feeling it for this guy. So then I made my friend drive me around town looking for the guy I had a crush on. Puke in my hair, red eyes, clammy skin, walking drunk, and all. We never found the guy I wanted to be my Valentine date but it's all good because our romantic interest in each other eventually fizzled. The next day my friend who drove me home (with the painting in the back of his SUV) got a text from our friend whose house it was saying "I don't care that she puked in every room of my house but I want my painting back" Ha ha ha. It was returned unharmed. Happy Valentine's Day! (even if it's late)
ReplyDeleteSquid Loyal